i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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