Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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