He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
