I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
