I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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