Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
