Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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