You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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