Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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