I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
