wrigley field is MILF paradise
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
