Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize