You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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