Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
