His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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