Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
