A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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