Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
