I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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