Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
