Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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