I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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