The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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