You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
