at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
