fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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