apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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