he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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