I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
