We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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