Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize