I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
