There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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