You really coming over, don't trick.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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