Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
