no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
