He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
