No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
