Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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