am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Are we still banned from the library?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
