when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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