does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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