Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
