Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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