Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
