Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
