I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The air taste purple.
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