I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My vagina just recognized that song.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
