man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
