So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
