like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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