Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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