we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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