North Korea, Best Korea!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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