Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
