The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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