I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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